Friday, April 30, 2010

What IF....

When Mel posted the What IF Project I thought it would be really easy for me to write about the fear I have of NEVER seeing those two pink lines. That is what my original What IF was all about. I mean isn’t that something most of us fear, that it will never work… Then something changed, I know it is not if I will see them but when. So my original pick for the What IF was thrown out the window by the knowledge I now have that I will be a mom. I am still on cloud nine and feel more positive about this cycle every day, so I wanted to choose a What IF that was a little more positive and that, if it was a reality, would make this whole journey so much easier. So this is my new What IF…

What if every state passed a law that would require insurance companies to cover fertility treatments and A.R.T. so that people like me and my husband wouldn’t have to choose between their mortgage or having a family (from Melissa G)?

IF the above What IF happened, we would be able to have the family we have always dreamed of. When DH lost his job in February of ’09 we were in a very difficult situation. We had been saving all we could for IVF while still paying a ridiculously high mortgage. We decided to let go of our house instead of using our savings to pay the mortgage for 6 months. It was an agonizing decision. In the end it worked out wonderfully. (We purchased another home in this down market that is twice the size and ½ the cost of our first before our credit was ruined forever. Now our mortgage can be paid on one income.) But the point is what would have happened if our insurance covered IVF and we never had to make that decision.

I know for sure that if we had coverage for IVF we would have done it a lot sooner. We more than likely would be parents by now, and we could continue to build our family through the miracle of A.R.T. We live in Cali and some things are covered by our insurance. My ultrasounds and blood work were covered, as was my medication. I still had to pay the RE his fee and the hospital. So we paid over $10,000 out of pocket, which is not as much as most. I just wonder what it would be like if every family experiencing IF had the opportunity to pursue treatment if that is what they wanted to do. There will still be those that will opt to adopt and certainly even if insurance does cover treatment it’s no walk in the park. Certainly my OHSS was severe enough to scare me. So I do not think that IUI or IVF would be for every infertile couple.

I believe that if it was covered, infertility would not be so taboo. Maybe seeking treatment would be more openly discussed among friends, if it was seen for what it is a medical condition and not something brought on from bad luck or bad decisions. Maybe we could seek treatment earlier. I loved what Mel said in her talk on the Hill, “If the children are indeed America’s future, we’ll do more to ensure that they get here.” I hope to see this What IF become a reality in my lifetime.

Please check out this link for some basics on infertility: And this one to learn more about National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW):
And now for my What IF's....

What IF I end up with what I have always wanted and it all makes sense in the end?
What IF this journey changes me for the better?
What IF I can help just one person by sharing my story?
What IF my marriage is strengthened because of this journey?
What IF I am a better parent because I had to work so hard to get my children here?
What IF…


  1. I love this positive spin on "What IF..." Amazing post.

    Big hugs!

  2. Have you tested already and that is why you're so confident?! If not and you're still confident, you're going to have to coach me in my upcoming 2ww!!!

    I love your point that if it were covered, it would not be so taboo. That is an excellent reflection, and I think an accurate one at that.

  3. You're awesome!!!!!!!!!! Love this post!!! Love it!!! XOX

  4. here through the WHAT IF project.

    GOOD LUCK with this cycle..and thanks for this post. That is a what if I am hoping will be a reality soon. If it was covered, our sons would have been here sooner and we would have been able to buy our dream house. I am sure that our government has to start treating infertility like the disease it is.