Thursday, July 26, 2012

Out of left field

I don't even know where to begin. Let's start with the phone call. My mom called last week to tell me a relative of mine was pregnant. It wasn't happy news since the woman is not married or ready to have a baby. She is not a teen, but still young and trying to get her life started. Then the next sentence was the one that will change our lives forever, "And she wants to give the baby to you and DH." My heart skipped a beat. And then the seconds went by very slowly as my mind raced with questions. My mom went over all the details and I told her I was on-board but had to see what DH would say. To say I couldn't think that day is an understatement. BTW, she said she was 5 months pregnant!  

Since the news was so huge I waited until DH got home from work before I told him. I wanted to be able to discuss it and read his facial ques to be sure he was fine with all of this. I told him and shock was his first reaction and then a smile I will never forget. He said, "I knew this was going to happen." I was like um yeah right like you knew ______ was going to be pregnant. He said, "no but I knew our child was coming. I could just feel it." Tears, lots of tears. I think I have turned off that kind of hope after all we have been through. It was amazing to hear he hadn't and was able to listen to those promptings.

So here we are almost a week later. Birth Mom, know as M, had her first OB appt yesterday and everything looked amazing! Nice strong heartbeat and perfectly healthy in every aspect. And she found out we are having a .........


She came up to where we live and brought us a cute gift and card to announce the sex! It was amazingly thoughtful and sweet.  We got to find out in a cute way just like I had always imagined. It has been amazing how miraculous this whole thing is. It was not at all the way I had imagined it happening, but the Lord's plans are greater than mine. I feel awestruck that we have been chosen to be this child's parents. We weren't even in the adoption mindset, well I wasn't, DH has been since IVF #1 nearly killed his wife. One of the most inspiring things about it all is that I had told a few people when they had asked us about adoption, and I wasn't saying this, I would tell them that I felt like a BM would just find us and tell us she knew she was carrying our child. I know, I know that is bizarre, but it is truly what I felt. We have a couple at our church that it happened to and I felt that if we were to adopt, that's how it would happen to us too. People said I was crazy, but I knew! I wonder if that is the only way the Lord could knock me over the head and say hello, this is how baby #1 will become part of your eter.nal family. 

This has all happened so fast and I don't know that I have really processed all of it just yet. I went and purchased a few cute girl outfits yesterday because I couldn't resist! I know that a lot of people would probably advise us to wait until things were a little more finalized before I start filling a room with girly things, but I'm all in people! I really feel like everything will be ok  and work out in the end. (Ok yes that little voice is still in the back of my head, but I am working on silencing her.) If I hold back and things don't work out it won't make it any easier in the end. It will just make me more unhappy now. I'm already in love! 

It looks like we will finally be parents mid November. 

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Cleaning up our act

I have been reading quite a bit over the last few months about Ea.ting. It seems to be all the rage these days. When I first read about it I thought the people were crazy! They said things like, "sugar affects the pleasure centers in your brain like cocaine." I said, "I'm ok with that. Sugar is my drug of choice." They also posted their meal plans, gag is all I have to say. Then a pin on Pinter.est caught my eye. I followed it and there was a video all about what food does and why we eat certain things, and most importantly, what it is doing to our body. (And fertility!) So I mulled it over for a few days. I had DH watch it and told him I wanted to buy the materials and I wanted to change what WE ate. He agreed. 

We literally threw out, or donated, every piece of food that was no longer part of "the plan". Our pantry was empty for the first time since we purchased our house. It was a bit extreme but I found myself longing for gram crackers and cereal and didn't need the temptation. 

So what do we eat. Basically fruit, veggies, and meat. And all of it is Organi.c. I know, I know there is a bunch of hoopla about how organic things may be lies and no better for our health, but I am a firm believer that things that are pesticide free, free range, and not treat with antibiotics or hormones have to be better for my body. We can also have sprouted whole grain breads. Which are not so delicious, but the english muffins are tolerable.  We can have dairy, like organic raw milk and greek yogurt. For sweeteners our choices are honey and 100% pure maple syrup. So really it isn't all that bad. Oh and we drink 1/2 our body weight in oz of water each day. Luckily I love water so I haven't had any issues with that. Yes, our grocery bill is higher than ever, but our overall food bill is lower since we don't eat out... EVER.

 We are one month in and I feel amazing. DH feels pretty great too, although I know he longs for a good old fashioned hamburger from a certain fast food chain or just some normal BBQ sauce. He has lost 8 lbs and I am down 3. I wish it was more, but I am not doing it for the weight loss, I am doing it to see if it will improve our chances at having a baby. Now I don't believe this will get us pregnant the old fashioned way, I have given up all hope on that end, but maybe it will help raise his counts and help my body deal with the IVF meds better. Wouldn't that be a miracle?!?!

My hope is to meet with the RE we want to see in 3-6 months. That will be the true test. I know they will do a SA and I am interested to see if it makes any difference at all. I have a feeling it will and in a big way. DH's count hasn't even been listed, they simply say "very few sperm" so them saying even 100,000 would be a vast improvement. I'm hopeful but not crazy. We shall see what happens...