Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Bring it!

I am so excited for the New Year. 2009 was a bit of a bust. Last year at this time we were gearing up for our first RE appt. I really thought 2009 would be "our year". It's ok. Things happen, plans change. So here we come 2010! Ready or not!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

PMS + The Holidays = Good times

Just kidding! Why must AF come right in the middle of all the action. Saturday we had to get the rest of our shopping done. Oh that was fun. I had to run into Kh.ol's to return a pair of shoes. I waited in line for like 20 min only to get up to the register to be informed they don't do returns there and I would have to do them at their Customer Service counter. UH!! I grabbed my stuff and walked out the door. Tears started streaming as I called DH to come get me. He had dropped me off so I could just "run in". I cried the whole way home and climbed into bed when we got there. I just needed to rest and not deal with everything. PMS + Holiday Madness, not a good mix. I have yet to go back to try and return them. Maybe this weekend.

Today is CD1 and I realized this will be my last drug free cycle. Next cycle I will start bcp to prep for IVF. I am ready to get the hormone party started.

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

They should win

That's what my husband told me last night while watching Monday night's DVR'ed episode of O.ff. He was referring to the Colo.rado group named F.ace. You see, one of the group members is married to a br.east can.cer survivor and she was rendered infertile after Before going in for treatment they froze a few embryos hoping to have her carry them after treatment. Unfortunately the dang drugs took that away from her too. The story goes on that one of the band mate's wife offered to be a gestational carrier for the couple. They are now the proud parents of a son. So after seeing this story on the show, DH looked at me and said, "Aww, they should win." I thought it was really sweet given the fact that DH really doesn't like to talk about IF stuff and seems to fell only marginally sympathetic for me when I have a total break down about it. (But I really don't think he knows what to do with me in those instances.) I simply agreed and was singing hallelujah on the inside. He gets it!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Getting my Christmas wish

It looks like we are a go for a February cycle! So that means bcp will start next month. I am scared, nervous, excited, hopeful all at the same time!! I am trying to be cautiously optimistic... but I really feel like this is going to work. It certainly will be the closest we have EVER been to being pregnant.

I am also happy to report I am finally 100% in the holiday spirit! We have a little family in our ward that could really use some gifts this Christmas, so we are going to play Secret Santa. They have 4 children, 2 girls and 2 boys. They range in age from 8 to 2. Each will get a new coat and a toy. Christmas is all about giving and I couldn't think of a better thing to give. DH and I don't need gifts. We are so blessed.

What have you done to get in the Christmas spirit?

Monday, December 7, 2009

What would you like?

DH asked me last night what I wanted for Christmas. I told him all I want is to meet our saving requirement so we can get this baby making show on the road. I wish I could send out a mass email to our family and say, "This year for Christmas please do not give us gifts. We would prefer cold hard cash. Please and thank you." Tacky?? Um, yes. Just a bit. Ok, maybe a lot! Even if it was only $20, I would rather put that into our savings than some ugly fleece vest my grandmother felt I had to have. Oh well. At least I can tell DH not to buy me anything. I think it may also help us remember the true meaning of Christmas.
What are you asking for for Christmas?

Friday, December 4, 2009


I wanted to first thank all of you wonderful ladies for your suggestions with my Holiday Blues. I am doing a lot better now. I am generally a pretty happy person, so I can only stay down for so long. So now, onward and upward!

Sweet Elle at Hope and Envy gave me the Kreativ Blog Award! Thank you Elle!!

The Rules:
· Share 7 things that you don't already know about me.
· Name 7 other blogs to receive this award.
· Leave a comment on each of the blogs I nominated.
· Thank the person who gave you the award.

Ok so, 7 things you didn't know about me...

1. If I could have any profession I would be a baker. I would love to open my own bakery one day.

2. I love big cities! I have always dreamed of living in a loft over some cool Thai Restaurant. (Well like 4-7 floors above it.) We have talked about moving to San Francisco several times. Maybe someday we will!

3. When I was a kid my grandmother always made us use the bathroom before bed. She would even wake us in the middle of night to use it. Now I still have to go right before bed. If I wake up in the middle of the night, which I do very often, I can’t go back to sleep until I have gone to the bathroom. (Oh pregnancy is going to be fun!)

4. I don’t like pizza.

5. I LOVE all Asian food! From Pho to sushi.
6. I love to fill out forms. I know that sounds strange, but I do. DH has never filled out a medical, DMV, or tax form since we have been married.

7. I learned to swim before I could walk. I still love the water.

I would like to nominate all the ladies over in my sidebar! I want to know 7 things about you!!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Not so jolly

I have to come clean, I am having a really hard time this holiday season. Yes, this is my 6th holiday season in IF land, but for some reason this one feels different. I think a big part of that is we are trying so hard to save money we aren't really giving gifts to each other or taking a trip. The last few years we have gone somewhere to "escape" all the family Christmas stuff. This year DH can't take time off from his new job and we need to save every penny. I don't feel merry or jolly. I have no desire to do anything Christmas related. (Well I did get our tree up, but that's it.) I'm sure all my fellow IF sisters have been here before and many are here right now. I honestly have never been so depressed over the holidays. It just doesn't seem like Christmas time.


I'm sure I will get over it. Just not today.