A few weeks back we were at a couples party at a friends house. I was standing and talking to our now due-any-day-maybe-someday-surrogate R when the hostess and her mother walked by slightly pushing me into R's full belly. They asked if I was rubbing it for good luck and I said of course I hear this sort of thing is contagious, when the old lady (mother of 8) put her had on my shoulder and said,"I really think you two should just adopt." She said it with a look of hello that is the only logical option, have you never thought of that kind of look. Deep breath, and then comes the vomit of my opinion about adoption:
"You know adoption is a major decision. And it is really hard! What do you think you can just run to Tar.get and pick up a baby from the store?!? 'Baby Sale 50% off' well I'll take 2 then, one of each in blue and pink. Did you know that the mom can change her mind?? We have considered adoption and really don't feel like it is the right path for us at this time. We are doing what we think is best and will continue walking this path together as a couple."
I know we have all been faced with these types of comments. I decided about 3 years ago I was no longer going to just smile and nod when someone threw something like this my way. And I'm grateful I made that decision. After 7.5 years of ttc does this lady REALLY think adoption has never crossed my mind?!? I have the papers from our would-be agency filed away with my other important IF papers. I know she probably means well but while she's at it she might as well give me sex advice and ask about my CM. To me it is that intrusive of a comment. This is private stuff we are going through and quite frankly the trial of my life! Please don't tell me to "just adopt".