Tuesday, August 18, 2009

After party

What happens after an IVF cycle? What is the after party like if the outcome is good? And what if it is bad?
Last night we delivered some home baked goods to a family we go to church with. They are on the opposite end of the fertility pool, their first 3 kids are all 12-14 months apart, 6 kids total. Most of their kids have left the nest, only have two left at home. She has been good about asking questions about IVF and what a cycle will entail for me. Well last night she asked me for an update since it had been about a month since we had last spoken about it. The she asked about the after party. "What is the after party like if we don't get good news?"
I was at a loss. What is it like? Will I want company? Will I want support from all my very fertile friends who have no clue what it is like to shell out $15k just to have the possibility of getting pregnant? Will I even want to get out of bed?
The truth is, and what I told her, is I don't know. IF is hard to accept when you try cycle after cycle naturally and nothing happens... but what about the cycles where you have thousands invested, countless hours of monitoring, tons of hormones, and still the outcome is the same?
I don't know the answer to any of these questions, and to be honest I haven't really thought about the outcome being negative. My hope and prayer is that we will be a one shot success story, and for now that's where my focus lies. Staying on the "it will work" side is where I want to be.
What was your after party like?


  1. Wow! Lots to consider. I sincerely hope that you don't have to find out howt he unsuccessful IVF after party turns out! (((HUGS)))

    I look forward to following your journey! We recently found out that we're dealing with MFI (low count, motility and 0% normal morphology), so I'm learning all I can!


  2. Hi hon, thanks for your comment on my blog. I am doing a lot better now. RE: how you will feel after your ivf cycle - it really depends. After a BFP there is a lot of 'is this really happening' and nerves but of course a lot of excitement as well. For the other side... well you've seen my blog! I agree with Lin though, I hope you dont fall on that side of the wagon xx

  3. That is really sweet of her to ask you- even if you don't know...and she doesn't know how to comfort you- it is still nice to know she wants to help.

    Wow- was that a run on sentence or WHAT?!?!?

    I have no ideas- we are yet to make it there. I think booze for me personally. :)