Tuesday, July 14, 2009

A loan??

One thing I love about having an anonymous blog is I can be totally honest about things that are happening in my life. Especially things I so desperately need advice about. Like what happened Saturday night...

DH and I went to see Transformers with some friends. Saturday night. I took my phone out to turn the ringer off and my mom was calling me. I told her we were getting ready to watch a movie and usually she would say, "Oh, ok. Well call me later." This time she proceeded to talk, so I knew something was up. She told me that she has a retirement account she wants to pull $9k dollars out of so we can get the "baby show" on the road. She can pull it out without penalties as long as it is for an emergency. We would pay her back over the next few months. I told her no way! She said she wanted me to talk it over with DH and call her back. So as we waited for the previews to start I told him about it. He said no way. I was sad, but relived at the same time. He said he would rather take out an infertility loan. I called her to tell her our decision. She said, "Well tell him he better hurry up or I am just going to take out the money anyway."

Now the more time I have had to think about it, the more I want to do it. We are about 5-6 months away from having all our money saved. That is IF we do everything right. This way we could do it now and just pay my mom with the money we were going to save. My mom will not hold anything over our heads, she is wonderful. She just desperately wants grandchildren, and she knows how much we want to be parents. My brother and his wife have a 1 year old daughter who my mother adores, but my sister-in-law is not the kindest person. Plus they live in Utah and we get to see them maybe once a year. So to her it is not "real", for lack of a better word.

What should we do??


  1. What a generous gift from your mother! I think you should take it.
    When I was super poor and eating cheesy mac every day for 3 weeks about 7 years ago (right before I was married), my mom loaned me $600 to get food, put gas in my car, until I got back on my feet. She didn't have the money, but she borrowed it from someone else for me (and didn't tell me that part until later).
    Mothers want to see their children happy, and usually will do whatever they can to help...at any cost.

  2. Hmm...that's tough one! It sounds like you and your DH are really responsible and would definitely pay your mom back. If you don't mooch off of her all the time, I think I would take it. Either way, what a sweet and generous mom you have!


  3. I think it is very important to sit down with your husband and discuss why you want to borrow the money from your mom rather than wait. I feel it is important for both of you to make this decision together. I would emphasize the fact that your mom would not charge interest while a loan would. If your first IVF is successful (which I'm sure is very likely) then you will need that extra $$$ for when the little baybeh comes. I am wishing you both all the best. Your mom is a total dear for her kind offer. I'm glad to know you have that great support.

  4. That is such a blessing that your mother would offer that for you. I agree with IF optimist- talk to your husband. He may feel bad for not being able to "provide" or guilty about having to borrow the money b/c of the infertility. Perhaps if you talk about it open and honestly you can come to an agreement you both are at peace with. Good luck!