...that is what the last five years have taken from me. Today AF was due and she hasn't come. Not even an inkling of her knocking at my door. Five years ago I would have ran to the drug store and bought a big box of HPT's. I would've called my husband to tell him I was late. I even would have browsed the net for early pregnancy symptoms and read up on what to expect in the first trimester...
Now I know that she is late but will be here soon enough. I know that this month will not be "the month". I know my nausea, fatigue, thirst, etc. are not early pregnancy symptoms. I know I am not pregnant.
On the flip side, these past five years have taught me to value AF because she means we have another chance. I have learned to enjoy intimacy with my husband because, for us, it will not produce a child. I have gained a broader understanding of the human body and what a wonder it is that anyone gets pregnant by accident!
Taking the good with the bad is all any of us can do in our situations and pray that hope is not gone forever.