Sometimes when we are on this long and hard journey to our children we feel alone. Like God has forgotten us and our prayers are going unanswered. I have felt this way often. I know what I want is a righteous desire so why aren't children coming to our family? I really felt this way a few months ago when we contacted a couple that was looking to place their little girl, due in July, for adoption. I posted about it here. Before we knew their decision my prayer to my Heavenly Father was, "please Lord just let them want to meet us. But Thy will be done." I thought if we just had a chance to meet them they would get to know us and possibly fall in love with us. Alas, my prayer was not answered and they told us we were not the right fit. It was hard not to feel rejected. I let it go and realized that baby girl was not meant to be ours. I have come to have a strong testimony that the children who come to our family, by whatever means, will be OURS. Ones who were always meant to be in our family. So knowing that made it a little easier to move on.
I had a feeling that for some reason they wouldn't place their baby. And I had also offered a prayer for that, that the Lord would protect our hearts from that heartache. About once a month or maybe every 6 weeks I would check the website they had up for applying couples to see if they had any news. It didn't change.
Well today I noticed they said baby girl came early in mid June and they were no longer accepting applications for families. No mention of what ended up happening. So I looked on FB since we had a mutual friend of a friend. Turns out they did change their minds and decided to parent.
I realized my prayer was answered. He kept me from a heartbreak I didn't need and maybe couldn't have handled at this point in our journey. I feel so blessed and feel my faith and hope renewed that He is aware of me. And He will never leave me alone. Even when prayers seem unanswered, that is not the case. He has a plan and it is far better than what we can even imagine. I am so grateful for that and that sometimes when I ask He says no.