So a fried texted a few days ago directing me to a website that was set-up by birth parents looking to place their unborn child with an adopted family. My heart skipped a beat when I got the text and then reviewed their web page. "Little Miss could have a sibling in a matter of months!" I was excited and humbled by the opportunity to adopt again. They had an application which consisted of 30+ questions they wanted both parents to answer. I talked to DH about it and we decided to throw our hat in the ring. It took us 2 days to answer all the in depth questions they had. I tried not to invest too much and knew they possibly had MANY applicants who were hoping for the opportunity to be considered.
We waited and waited and today the answer came that we were not selected as one of the families they wanted to meet. My heart broke and tears flowed. I was so hopeful... and now the hope is gone once again. This may be even worse than when I found out FET #1 and 2 didn't work. This time there was an actual baby kicking away in another woman's uterus involved. This was more than just a hope that maybe a few eggs in my killer uterus would amount to more than just a few cells. This my friends was an actual baby.
The irony is I believe with all my heart that adopted children are sent to THEIR families, not just any family. So really by them not picking up it is because we aren't the family our Heavenly Father has intended for this baby. I have a testimony of that... so why does my heart hurt so bad?