Thursday, February 3, 2011

Left behind, for the 245,731 time

I have a friend who has been TTC #4 for about 5 years. We went to church together and she would often vent to me about how hard IF is. I should mention here that she has 3 beautiful healthy boys. Which she concieved the second her husband "walked inot the room". He must have super flying sperm! Anyway, she wanted a little girl in the worst way. So about 3 years ago she talked to her OB and found out she has P.COS. He told her she was VERY lucky to have the 3 kids she has. (Thank You OB!)

They moved an hour north about 2 years ago. We have kept in-touch via FB. They decided to pursue adoption through the state foste.r-ad.opt program. They have been considered a few times, but never got a placement. Well 2 weeks ago they were matched with a 6 yr old gi.rl who was victim of serious nel.glect. (she Wears 3.T clothes she is so tiny from st.arvation.)

So once again I have been left behind. When they started the process we were getting ready for IVF #1. I talked to her before it started and I remeber her saying, "we should have babies about the same time." I kept thinking, yeah right, this is going to work and you may be waiting for placement by the time I am due. Well looks like I was wrong. It just makes me sad. For some reason I have a hard time when people IRL get their miracle, I talking about those that have dealt with IF. I wish I was better about it, but it is just so hard for me.

In other news, after a lot of thought, I think we are leaning toward IVF #2. I just feel like I am not quite there with the whole adoption thing just yet. I really wish I was... It looks like we are still a few months away, financially, but we know where we are headed.
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  1. i'm so sorry you feel left behind. i know that feeling all too well. infertility is a walk in the wilderness. but, God promises, at the end of each wilderness season, there IS a harvest. There IS a harvest coming for you, girl! I believe that.

  2. Being left behind just SUCKS.

    So sorry :(

  3. It may feel like you are left behind, but remember that the Lord has NOT forgotten you. (Hugs)

  4. I'm glad you have a direction now. Whatever the Lord has planned for you, He loves you. Hang in there!

  5. I'm is incredibly hard to be left behind after struggling and going through all you have. Hoping that you find the path that is best for you guys ((hugs))

  6. Knowing where you are headed is very important. Adoption is a very big step to make. If IVF #2 is what you choose then you have made the right choice.
    I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling "left behind" it is certainly a very hard feeling to shake off. Some folks just have it way to easy so they just don't understand how we feel. I guess they need to unfortunatley walk in our shoes to fully comprehend how hard it is for us.
    Take care of yourself and hang in there!

  7. I understand the feeling of being left behind. The climb to the pinnacle is long and steep, your feet will ache and your head spins from the altitude. IVF #2 was the magic for us. Wishing you all the magic in my heart.