Thursday, February 3, 2011

Left behind, for the 245,731 time

I have a friend who has been TTC #4 for about 5 years. We went to church together and she would often vent to me about how hard IF is. I should mention here that she has 3 beautiful healthy boys. Which she concieved the second her husband "walked inot the room". He must have super flying sperm! Anyway, she wanted a little girl in the worst way. So about 3 years ago she talked to her OB and found out she has P.COS. He told her she was VERY lucky to have the 3 kids she has. (Thank You OB!)

They moved an hour north about 2 years ago. We have kept in-touch via FB. They decided to pursue adoption through the state foste.r-ad.opt program. They have been considered a few times, but never got a placement. Well 2 weeks ago they were matched with a 6 yr old gi.rl who was victim of serious nel.glect. (she Wears 3.T clothes she is so tiny from st.arvation.)

So once again I have been left behind. When they started the process we were getting ready for IVF #1. I talked to her before it started and I remeber her saying, "we should have babies about the same time." I kept thinking, yeah right, this is going to work and you may be waiting for placement by the time I am due. Well looks like I was wrong. It just makes me sad. For some reason I have a hard time when people IRL get their miracle, I talking about those that have dealt with IF. I wish I was better about it, but it is just so hard for me.

In other news, after a lot of thought, I think we are leaning toward IVF #2. I just feel like I am not quite there with the whole adoption thing just yet. I really wish I was... It looks like we are still a few months away, financially, but we know where we are headed.
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7 comments:

  1. i'm so sorry you feel left behind. i know that feeling all too well. infertility is a walk in the wilderness. but, God promises, at the end of each wilderness season, there IS a harvest. There IS a harvest coming for you, girl! I believe that.

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  2. Being left behind just SUCKS.

    So sorry :(

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  3. It may feel like you are left behind, but remember that the Lord has NOT forgotten you. (Hugs)

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  4. I'm glad you have a direction now. Whatever the Lord has planned for you, He loves you. Hang in there!

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  5. I'm sorry...it is incredibly hard to be left behind after struggling and going through all you have. Hoping that you find the path that is best for you guys ((hugs))

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  6. Knowing where you are headed is very important. Adoption is a very big step to make. If IVF #2 is what you choose then you have made the right choice.
    I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling "left behind" it is certainly a very hard feeling to shake off. Some folks just have it way to easy so they just don't understand how we feel. I guess they need to unfortunatley walk in our shoes to fully comprehend how hard it is for us.
    Take care of yourself and hang in there!

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  7. I understand the feeling of being left behind. The climb to the pinnacle is long and steep, your feet will ache and your head spins from the altitude. IVF #2 was the magic for us. Wishing you all the magic in my heart.

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