Monday, January 10, 2011

Back to normal??

So my good friend AF has been showing up when she feels like for quite awhile now. The cycle before our first IVF she decided CD 40 was the day to come. She has been all over the place from 31-40 days when not being brought on by stopping bcp. Before all the madness of last year, I would say over the last 5 years she has been coming between 31-35 days. This month... 28 days. WTHeck. So is my body resetting after a year of total insanity?? But really, I don't even remember the last time I had a 28 day cycle. I am grateful that I haven't "damaged" my body permanently with all the junk I put into in 2010. I am hoping this will become a regular occurrence.

On the adoption front, nothing else has happened. I got our paperwork and it has just been sitting on my kitchen counter. We have to put down $1000 at our first meeting, which will be applied to the final cost of the adoption, but that just seems like a big commitment to make right now. I need to call the adoption specialist and ask some general questions before we setup that first meeting. I guess I haven't fully decided this is the path we are going to take just yet. I think it would be different if there was a baby out there, like Sarah's situation, but for now it is just another dream.

So no for sure decisions just yet. We continue to fast and pray and seek guidance only the Lord can provide. It's hard when you don't feel like you are getting an answer. I guess that is why we must have faith.


  1. I hear you on not fully deciding anything. A few days ago, we were sure we were going to pursue embryo adoption, but after learning some more (expensive) information yesterday, we are feeling less sure- at least about the route we were going to take (agency). I hate that it all hinges on finances, but they are a necessary part of our lives that has to be taken into consideration. I'm joining you in praying for guidance!!!

  2. Glad to hear things may be getting 'back to normal'. It's amazing how tricky our female bodies can be. So many factors go into the outcome.

    I pray you find peace in whatever decision you make regarding a path towards a baby. Take your time until you know it is right. God will provide, whatever He has in store for you.

  3. $1k at the first meeting? How does that work?
    I know every agency is different, but the one we are using for our home study has home study fees first, then you put a % down when that is done and your profile is ready to be shown to birth parents. Is the $1k for the home study?
    Either way, it's definitely one of those things that takes a lot of thought! We started taking it seriously a year ago and I think we might still have been dragging our heels if something hadn't been dropped in our laps. Not for lack of wanting...but it just never seems to be the "perfect time" financially. I don't know if that will ever change, so I'm glad we were sort of forced into doing things faster than we planned. And I'm sure we'll be doubly glad when the baby actually comes home...
    One of the nice things about adoption for most of us, is that there is plenty of time to make this kind of decision!
    Anyway, whichever way you turn, I think the closer you get to a decision the more settled you'll feel about it.
    Glad to hear your cycle is getting back to normal!

  4. Hang in there dear girl... I know it's so hard when you're praying for direction, and it doesn't seem like there's any response from the Big Guy... there's a verse in Isaiah (i think it's 30:21) that says "whether you turn to the left or the right, you will hear a voice in your ear saying 'this is the way; walk in it." Life truly can be a leap of faith sometimes... but I do believe that He calls us to keep walking, even when we are wishing for clearer guidance of which way to take. I know He'll close doors if you start to veer in a direction He doesn't will for you -- and will go before you and 'make your paths straight' for the direction He does desire for you guys.
    Also praying for your heart during this time... seems like that's what takes the biggest hit in all this.
    Keeping you lifted up!

  5. I hope "normal" sticks around for you. Good luck with your decision.

  6. I totally understand how you feel! In the same boat as you..decisions and $$$ are always stressful. There are no easy solution or choice but I think at the end of it all you have to be content and at peace with whatever that decision might be. Thinking of you & keep strong.

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