Sunday, June 14, 2009

Oh to be so blessed...

On Friday night DH left to go up north for our nephew's graduation. I decided to stay home to help a friend host a little get together at her house. After enjoying good food and company the women decided to take a walk. A C And I walked with their kids around the neighborhood. (A and C live a block from each other.) At the end C invited us in to check out her new paint colors. Then she was describing how she was going to hang pictures of her kids up the stairway. I jokingly asked if she was going to leave space for another picture just in case. (She has three beautiful girls, the youngest is 5 1/2 months.) She looked at A and said well we may have to. They both giggled. I felt my heart sink. C then said how her hubby was home last weekend and they had a little whoops moment. And she was ovulating. So if she is crying in two weeks we know why. "Crying??" I asked not quite understanding. "Well that means my last two would only be 15 months apart! It would be awful," she said. I know she wasn't trying to hurt my feelings, but she did. She proceeded to say how excited her hubby is at the prospect of another on the way.

I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I could feel my face still in shock and burning with jealousy. Oh to just fall pregnant. How would that be? I see C all the time, how do I not constantly replay that conversation over and over in my head. I told DH about it on Saturday when he returned and he tried to tell me everyone has different trials and for C having another baby right now is a hard thing. Dang him for being so wonderful! I know that... it's just did she have to say that to ME!?! Oh how I use to pray for a whoops, even when I was on BCP. Nope, not even a little bit. I wish I could switch places with her.


  1. HUGS!

    I think everyone has been in the same place. How come I cannot switch places with name? How I wish people were following me and me not following them. How come I've got the house, the good job, the SUV, but not children.

    As the past year has gone by, I often think, "Why I was suppose to marry E?" And what I've learned is that with this IF garbage when I come home at night... I am not judged by my husband, I am not asked why we do not have kids yet, or when are we planning to have kids. We are allowed to be us... and that is what is what matters most.

  2. I get it - i totally get it. It is okay to feel that way though. Just keep thinking... one day!

  3. I SO get this! I think people can be SO insincere! Even when they don't mean to be! I'm here from bloggy bingo and want to "thank" you for posting this "complaint" though I do complain about the same things and don't feel that it is unnecessary!