The adoption path looks a little something like this from here; Step 1 ~ We have a free information meeting this coming Tuesday to get info on the agency. Then we have to pay a $25 application fee and a $500 enrollment fee to get the ball rolling. Step 2 ~ Get our classes set up and pay around $3k for them. They only hold them once a quarter and the next ones are the first three Saturdays in November. Which doesn't work since one falls on Little Miss' 3rd birthday. And they run from 9-1 so 4 hrs. It looks like we will have to wait a few months to get those set up. Step 3 ~ Home Study and lots of personal questions no one really wants to tell a perfect stranger (or even a close friend ie. how often do you and your partner have intercourse?) need to be answered. Those fees will run us about $8500. After that is all completed we will officially be a waiting family. I have a play date set up with a friend who adopted their DD from the same agency Saturday. I'm going to ask her about BM fees and other things that may not be included in the fees mentioned above. Once placement occurs there is a $5k finalization fee. So all together we are looking at around $17k or a little less to go this route.
The FET path looks a little something like this: Step 1 ~ Consultation with RE. Step 2 ~ Blood work. Step 3 ~ Prep for transfer. Step 4 ~ Transfer. We have insurance coverage for some of the costs and back 5 years ago when we were on the IVF roller coaster a FET with our office was around $1.5k. Since we do have a deductible we will end up paying for most of the fees before anything is covered. But this is obviously a much cheaper option!
I swore after the horror or IVF #1 I would never go back to this office. But since we moved back to our home town and the office is less than 3 miles from our new home I figured I might as well give the last 3 embryos a try. The good news is since we did IVF #1 another IVF clinic has opened in our hometown. So if we decide to possibly move on to IVF #2 we have options. I don't think with all the anxiety I feel over doing another cycle I could emotionally handle traveling 3-4 hrs to the other clinics that are in the state of CA to do a cycle with them. I'm not super hopeful about these little 3 embryos amounting to a real live baby, but I don't feel right leaving them in cold storage forever or destroying them when it took SOOOO much to create them. But this clinic better not try to do a full work up on me and DH when I have zero intention of cycling with them again. Well with a fresh cycle that is.
I must admit I am a bit jaded after our recent adoption failure. I don't know that I have it in me to fail again. And I'm really scared that if we go that route we will fail again. I feel peace about that situation ending. I really feel it was right for us, but that doesn't mean it isn't hard. EM is due in 9 days. 9 days!! It's hard not to think about what might have been had I just gone along with her plan... But then again I feel like she won't end us placing in the end anyway. It's so back and forth for me. I'm confused why that situation had to be part of our journey to baby #2. I guess we may never know why. All I know is I'm ready to make something happen so we are going to get all the info we can and then do what we can to bring another baby home.
To be continued...