Thursday, May 13, 2010


I am trying really hard to get the hope back from last cycle. It was hard to get a BFN when I was SO sure it worked. I know that it is His plan, I just don't get it. How do you revive the hope that seems to be lost?

We have the 9 embryos left and after that we are back to square one. We have been praying a lot about possibly switching clinics. I do like my RE and his staff, but there are just some things I would like to be different. I would like to have a more active role in my care. I felt like I had to pull the info I wanted out of the IVF "nurse". The real nurse at the clinic, that did my u/s, was always more than happy to tell me everything, but I only saw her for all of 2 min. So it was hard to get all the info out. I just felt like they didn't think I was a well informed woman who wanted to know as much as possible about my blood work, medication, embryos, etc. I felt like they told me the bare minimum, and when I asked for more it was a hassle. It really bothered me... But the location is wonderful and they are a couple thousand dollars less than other clinics.

The cost isn't the main hurdle, it is location. Our clinic is 1 hr south of us and our families live in the same city. So I always have a place to crash and a sister or my mom to go with me to my appointments. The other 2-3 clinics we have been looking at are 1-2 hrs north. We have no family or friends that live close by. So that means I would have to travel both ways on the days of my appointments. Plus I would not want to go alone, so I would have to find friends from church to go with me. DH may be able to go to a few, but his work is not super flexible. The stress and anxiety of trying to line up fiends to go with me may be more of a hassle and hindrance than it is worth. I'm not sure.

IF just sucks!


  1. I'm so sorry you are having a difficult time. You should be well informed about your own body and I totally get wanting to switch clinics. I did, it was such a pain in the you know what, but I am so glad I did. I'm hoping everything works out for you. IF does suck!

  2. It is alwyas difficult when a cycle fails and it's hard to know what to do next. Take some time and I'm sure your next step will be the right one for you. And I just want to remind you not to give up on those nine frozen embryos yet!

  3. I'm sorry you're struggling to get the hope back. I had that after my BFN, too, and while I had my good days I overall felt rather hopeless. It wasn't until I actually started IVF #2 that it returned. :)

    Good luck deciding about whether or not to switch clinics! I was a little concerned that your clinic had so few FET successes - do the further away ones have better FET rates?

  4. After every failed cycle/miscarriage I've had, I lose an ounce of hope. But then I keep praying and ask God to give me strength to make it through, and He does.

    I will keep you in my prayers!!

  5. Having 9 frozen embies to work with sounds like a really good place to be (we only got two embies our first IVF round so when it was over it was over.) I really have a feeling that a miracle is closer to you than you think!!!

    And I totally understand what it's like to be at a clinic who makes you feel like you're annoying them when you try to understand things or just ask questions. I was with two separate clinics and one was worse than the other, so sadly I'm affraid that most IF offices are just totally void of good customer serivce and any heart. I always tried to tell myself, "They're scientists not therapists." This sometimes would help me when I felt like they weren't tuning into my emotional needs. Still, you're just sucks!

    Hang in there!!!! I know there is a BFP in your future!!! I have lots of HOPE for you!!!! XOX

  6. I'm sorry it's a tough time. I'm thinking of you! Good luck with your decision. Hugs!