Friday, June 3, 2011

Clearing my head

I was so upset yesterday about everything yesterday. DH suggested I take some time and clear my head. If only I could take the part of my brain that is constantly thinking about IF and push the mute button.

I tried to take a step back today and realize that yes, sending out the info on the discounted cycle was wrong, but pushing me toward the other two cycles is really in my best interest. I think I am so over sensitive right now about all of this crap. DH said last night that he really thought the refund program was the best idea because he isn't 100% sure this will work. Que tears and silence. After a good night's rest which always seems to bring clarity, I find myself agreeing with him. No one goes into and IVF cycle 100% sure it will work. I was about 90% sure with our first cycle and was blindsided by OHSS and then the low quality and quantity of embryos. I think being more cautious and protecting ourselves this time around really is in our best interest. And that is what DH and the financial consultant were both trying to tell me and I wouldn't have any of it.

I want this to work so badly I just want to go in and get it over and done with. I don't even want to think about it not working. Then I tried to tell myself how much more comfortable I would feel if I knew we would get 90% of the cycle fee back if it didn't work out. How much stress would that take out of the equation!?! I need to be more open to other's suggestions instead of always thinking I know it all! I don't and others, especially DH, have my best interest in mind.

Now this doesn't mean we are for sure going to go with this clinic. But it means I need to take a step back and not be so defensive. We are going to consult with at least 1 other clinic in the bay area that has a refund program similar to this one. (Slightly higher fee for one cycle and transfer of all remaining frozen embryos before refund is given.) There are two clinic I have been thinking about going to for awhile and both have the At.tain program and that is like 3x the amount (like over $25k) but you are paying for 3 IVF's and 3 FET's. And then if that doesn't work a 70% refund is given. I would be doing IVF for years! Not to mention it would take years to save up the $$ to do it. So they have both been taken off the table for now.

What do you ladies think, is doing a refund program setting yourself up for failure?


  1. I went to RSC Bay Area, which has the Attain program. I refused to spend that much money on 6 cycles because, like you said, you'd be doing treatment for years! So, I can see why you took those clinics off the table. I think, in your situation, finding a more suitable refund program may be a good idea. When my first IVF didn't work, I second guessed my decision to "pay as you go." I don't want you to go through that. You've been through so much as it is. Just go with your heart and gut...they will lead the way for you. :)

  2. I don't think doing a refund program is setting yourself up for failure. We had wanted to do it and tried, but didn't qualify. For us, it ended up being a blessing because we were also simultaneously pursuing domestic adoption and after our IVF failure (no refund program), 2 weeks later, our son was born. If we had qualified for the program, we wouldn't have had the $ to go through with the adoption.
    God really has the best vantage point. And it is really to our benefit (as hard as it is!) to trust Him, and watch His plan unfold. I know He's got an amazing one in store for you -- more than you can even imagine!