Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Too much

A few months back I ran to my friend L's house to borrow a few eggs. She is in her mid 40's and has 6 children, with only 2 left at home. We got to talking about our plan for our next attempt at having a family. She then told me she had rented a movie all about IF, The Pla.n. I could hardly contain my disgust. Have you seen the movie? If you have you, you understand what an awful pretrial of IF it is. J.L.o gets pg on her first IUI attempt, with twins no less. She has no side effects from meds and her twin pregnancy is 100% uncomplicated. She even goes into labor and delivers healthy babies with no medical intervention. The only "issue" she has is this guy comes into her life on the day of her IUI. They fall in love and the movie ends with her throwing up in a trash can, surprise she is pg again! This time with her fiance's baby after no TTC. This is the movie L watched and suddnely understood IF. She just couldn't believe all we went through. Really?!?? Because that movie made it look pretty easy. She then finishes with, "gosh, if I had to do all that, I don't think I would have kids!"

Pause to catch my breath...

I then told her how easy that made it seem and how what we did, IVF, was about 147x more complicated. Not to mention all the stupid complications I had. I still don't think she got it by the end of our conversation. (Even Though she was one of the many friends who came to visit when I was sick with OHSS.)

So is this all really worth it? Someone who had six children, without even thinking about it, seems to think it isn't. I now know why the Lord gave me the gift of IF and not her, he knew I would continue to fight. Becuase my children are woth it!

PS This is the same friend who often comments that she stopped praying for patience because every time she did she got pg. And that my friends is the real secret to getting pregnant. Why didn't I think of that!


  1. Thanks for telling me about the movie - I will not watch that! Ugh!

    I love that last part about fighting for your children - so true!

  2. Hollywood sucks big time with almost anything that has depth. Fight the good fight kiddo. I will be worth it in the end.

  3. Oh man! That conversation would drive me insane.

  4. That is one conversation I'd have a hard time composing myself in! I just came across your blog and am now following. I had an unsuccessful IVF last year and am now moving onto my first (and only, since we don't have enough embryos) FET. I'm looking forward to following you along your journey and can't wait until I get to read about your BFP!!! :)

  5. Wow. Just wow. The things people say sometimes!

  6. I think people can't really understand IF unless they've been through it. Sometimes people say the rudest things because they just don't know any better.

    Your children WILL be worth the IF trial. The Lord gave us that trial because He knew it would make us stronger. Keep your head up and keep believing!!

  7. I can't believe I hadn't thought of that!

    How annoying :)

  8. WOW. The mind boggles at the insensitivity of others. I'm not sure how I would have reacted.

  9. Ugh...I am well disgusted, at that film and at the advice pple give. Duh, if all I needed to do was pray for patience, maybe I'd have to toddlers running around my house now.

    I wonder why the makers of the movie couldn't get an educated view. After 4 ivfs...I can only be annoyed!

    Hold your head up, you'll get there and your children will be so worth it. I look at my son now and I think I'd have done 10 ivfs if that's all it would have taken to get him. The joy far outweighs the trials. Sending you lots of hugs..

  10. OMG! Really? That movie is about SMC (single motherhood by choice), not about IF! How dense can the fertile be?

    *Just stumbled on your blog... I'm a SMC wannabe trying whatever it takes to beat IF!

  11. have watched the movie and enjoyed it but it is a romantic comedy, not an IF movie at all, I agree. As someone who went through two failed IUIs it definitely made it look too easy.

  12. Here from Creme de la Creme

    Some people just don't get it. They don't understand and because Hollywood makes it look so easy, even if your friend thought what JLO went through was "hard."

    We IFers have to fight tooth and nail with blood sweat and tears to get our kids. Whether we get lucky and get pregnant on the first IUI or if we have 5 failed IVF's before we get pregnant or choose to leave treatment behind and look towards adoption. We have all fought a good fight to get our kids.

    I kind of touched on this in my last post....We as IFers may not be "better" parents, but we've learned to appreciate our kids just a little bit more and don't take anything for granted.

    I'm impressed you still call this woman friend.

  13. I've taken to saying "I'm really glad you don't understand" - not with judgment but with honesty. I'm glad my friends haven't had 4 miscarriages, I'm glad my friends haven't dealt with postpartum depression after a 15 week miscarriage, I'm glad they haven't had to get over their fear of needles and inject themselves.