Finally CD1

So my period stopped. Yep, I had spotting on Wednesday and then lighter spotting Thursday, by Friday there was nothing. I was devastated. I cried a lot yesterday. I know I have no control over ANY of this, but having a 40 day cycle! Come on! So AF has finally returned full blown. I started sometime in the middle of the night. So I think I will start bcp tomorrow so I at least have a full 2 weeks on them. Does stating cd3 vs cd2 really matter?? I hope not.

Sorry friends that I have not been there lately. I have had so much stress in my life. (Obviously my period was 9 days late!) I'm not going to get into it all right now. I may at a later time. I just feel so bad I haven't been commenting and cheering you all on. Know that I am thinking about you all the time. Secretly saying prayers in my heart for all of you no matter what stage of the game you are at. Anther problem is they blocked blogger at work. Totally sucks. I use to get on during lunch and breaks to comment and now I can't. I still have my phone, but the internet is slow and I can't comment. So I am reading you posts, and I am thinking about you ladies.

Well wish me luck. We are really doing this!

Hello old friend

AF has arrived. Well sort of. I have had spotting, but it's red, so I'm counting it. It started yesterday morning. I was sure that by today she would be in full force, but not yet. Maybe tomorrow. I will start bcp tomorrow and continue until the day after Valentine's Day. Quick question, will I get another period when I go off bcp?? I start Lupron February 10th, and I'm not sure if that will keep it at bay or what. Well if I do that means I will have another period in 18 days. Yuck. Oh well, it will be my LAST for at least 40 weeks! (Fingers crossed)

I went to Bath & Body last night to get some good bubble bath. I have decided to have a nightly routine during this process to help me relax. I have read several places about how important it is to pamper yourself during treatments and I plan to follow that advice. Anyone have any good suggestions? I thought bubble baths and maybe some good meditative music. I am excited to have a reason to do it. We so often forget to take time out for ourselves, and this is really going to force me to do it.

POAS

It was negative. As I expected. Still no sign of my good ol' friend AF. Where the heck did she go?? I am ready to start punching myself in the uterus until she comes. (Not really... unless you think it would help. j/k) So there you have it. DH really wanted me to test today, so I drove to Target bought what I thought would be a good choice for hpt's. (After all we have only been in this hell hole called IF for 5.5 years.) Went upstairs did the deed and waited. There it was, the blank white abyss just staring back at me. Oh well. AF you are on notice!

Really???

So still no AF! I don't know what is going on. I haven't had a late cycle in a long time. (Well other than maybe a day off.) Even when it has been a day late I have had some spotting to tell me she is about to come. I have had NO spotting. Not even a hit of pink. I have felt a tiny bit crampy... I think my body is all screwed up. DH thinks I am magically pregnant since we are doing IVF next month. I think he is crazy. I am going to give it until Tuesday and then I will POAS if there is still no sign of her. I am still fine cycle wise for our plan. As long as she comes sometime this week. I am just annoyed. Why is it when I want her to come she doesn't?

Waiting as patiently as possible

That's about all i have been up to lately. We did DH's SA Monday. I will call for results next week sometime. Waiting for AF to get here. She is due tomorrow, but I am hoping she is just a day late because then I wont have to refill my bcp Rx. (I will be 1 day short if she comes tomorrow.)

In other news my friend C is going to have her sweet little boy on February 18th. Man time went by fast. I am going to make the cupcakes again for her shower next Saturday. A lot of people thought I should be throwing her shower. Well I just don't feel like I have the time or energy to do that right now. So I just never offered. Another woman from our ward (church group) offered to do it and asked me to make the cupcakes. I gladly accepted! I will make cupcakes any day of the week. I was so grateful someone else finally stepped up so the pressure was off of me.

Not much else going on. Hope you all have a happy weekend.

Our decision

Thank you for all your words of encouragement and advice on my last post. We will be doing another SA on Monday to see how DH's numbers are looking now. We have decided to have him give a sample a few days before retrieval so they can freeze some swimmers. He will also be giving a sample the day of in hopes that will have more than enough sperm to choose from. The back-up frozen sample will only cost us an additional $240 which is well worth it.

If I wanted to use a donor I would be doing IUI. We are doing IVF so we can have our children. We will move onto dIUI if needed.

If you are the praying type we could really use them right about now.

First appointment

Everything went really well today at my first appointment. I will start bcp on day 3 of my next cycle, should be Jan 21, and I start Lup.ron on Feb 10. My next appt and first u/s is Feb 19. Expected retrieval Feb 28 and transfer date March 3.

I'm feeling a bit nervous. I know, I know, I said that last post. It's still true. I am nervous.

Also our RE, Dr. Know-it-all, suggested we have "back-up" donor sperm just in case DH's sample doesn't yield any good swimmers. I was like, "Really! You don't think he will have 20 good sperm?!" He said, "Well his last SA was AWFUL. It is just my recommendation." Worry and sadness set in at that point and I wondered what the heck we should do. DH has been on Fertility Blend for 3 months, (4 1/1 by the time we need those guys) so I am hoping that has helped. He needs to do another SA ASAP so we can get a better picture of what is going on right now. I hate worrying about extra stuff. I told Dr. KIT we are planning on doing dIUI if this doesn't work. He was like, "well then why not have the back-up now so if he doesn't have any sperm we can use it. You know there are better success rates with IVF vs. IUI" Really?!?! Thanks I didn't know that. I just left a bit more frazzled than I should be. I guess we will have to wait and see what these next SA results say. DH is at better job and much less stressed then he was in Jan '09, so that can't hurt either. What would you do ladies?? Would you have a back-up?

Because I want to know

I have a new poll up to the right. I would really like to know how you paid for your IVF(s). For those of you who read my blog regularly, you know we are paying cold hard cash for ours. Our insurance company will cover the u/s's, so that should wipe out a few hundred bucks, but the majority of it will come straight from our savings. I know that most infertility related things are not covered, so I am not complaining. (Well not totally) I feel blessed we can do this and have been able to be diligent in our savings. It will be hard to write that check, but we know when we finally get to meet our little one it will all be worth it!



So please, take a second and weigh in.

Stop by and say Hi

It's National Blog Delurking Week. For all of you out there that are lurking around it is time to stop and say Hi. Just leave a quick comment. No big deal. Tell me about yourself. How did you find my blog? If that's a bit too much you can tell me what your favorite 80's movie is. (I love Pretty in Pink.) Sounds like fun, right?

I love meeting new people in the blog community! So come on, out yourself.

Ready or not!

I have my pre-cycle appointment next Tuesday the 12th. I am nervous! Yes, this is what I have been waiting for for the last 5+ years, but... sometimes I wonder if I am ready. I know, it sounds totally crazy right?? I have been hoping, praying and wishing for this. Well now the time has come. DH keeps saying, "Don't be nervous, it WILL work!" But maybe I am nervous about that too. I am scared to be pregnant. I am scared to be a mom. Yes it is all I want in the world, but... am I ready. I certainly am scared it wont work. For sure! But I'm trying really hard to not let my mind go there. So it will work. I should be starting bcp once my next cycle has started sometime around the 22nd. Oh my gosh this is really happening!!