So I'm having one of those "Man IF really Sucks" kind of days. An ex-friend who I am still friends with on FB just announced they are expecting baby #3. Her second daughter is just a few days younger than Little Miss. After seeing her cute little family announcing another little person will be joining their "team" I felt deflated. I don't know why pregnancy announcements still do this to me. Ok, that's a lie, I do know why. They are the reminder, that I don't need, that I am incapable of conceiving a child. They make me feel so inadequate.
So now boys and girls, it is time to make the big decision. Do we pursue another adoption or take our chances and give IVF one more try? Our home sold a little over a month ago, with that came the financial resources to make either option more than just a dream. I feel BEYOND blessed we are in this position... but at the same time I feel so much pressure to make the right decision. What if I choose IVF and it ends like IVF #1? What if I choose adoption and we have a BM who changes her mind? I know these are the realities of "baby making" for us. There is no escaping the what if's that come with IF. And today is one of those days when it just makes me a little angry. That may sound ungrateful but it's where I'm at today.
This makes total sense - I feel the same often. Like I'm on a game show and behind one of the doors is the prize I want, but none of the others have the prize. It's a lot of pressure.
ReplyDeleteI can really relate to this too. I agree IF is a lot like a game show. I hate gambling and yes, it is so much pressure to make the "right" choice.
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