Not quite sure what we will do next. We do still have the 3 Day1 embryos left, but given that it took 6 to get 2 ok ones, I am not very hopeful about them. Plus my last cycle was a living crap fest! That really makes me think twice about jumping right back into things. I have a blog about my RE office I am going to post eventually. I am so fed up with them! Needless to say we will be looking for another office for IVF #2.
We are now in saving mode again. It looks like it will be at least 6 months before we can afford to do this all again. Which makes me feel sad but also relieved. Let's face it, this IVF thing is not easy and my cycle history has been extra fun, with OHSS and side effects up the ying-yang. I am kind of happy we have to take a break. And I think we will will re-evaluate what we really want to do. Yes, we did this before our first cycle, but things are very different now. Bottom line, I want to be a mom and being pregnant isn't as important as it use to be for me. After having so much fun on hormones I wonder if I will be able to handle being pregnant. I am kind of scared of it now. Does that sounds totally crazy??? I feel pretty crazy these days.
AF finally showed up yesterday, so I am hoping my body/emotional state will go back to normal now that I am not all hopped up on hormones. I have my WTF appointment next week, but I'm not really sure I am ready for it. So I may cancel. I just want this to be over with.
I know the feeling of not knowing what to do next. We are in the same boat. I hate the "unknowns."
ReplyDeleteThey'll have so much more information for your future cycle based on what happened in your first. I know it's hard to know what to do when you stand at an IF crossroads. Keeping you in my thoughts. I know you'll make the best decision for you! Fingers crossed!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry...maybe the 6 month break to save will be just what you need physically and mentally.
ReplyDeleteIt is so difficult knowing what step to take next, we wrestled with that a lot recently as well. Thankfully one option presented itself after a lot of looking at all of our options and praying. Hope you too will feel right about how to move forward. Thinking of you & sending love
ReplyDeleteYou are not crazy! Those hormones and oh lordy OHSS is not a walk in the park. Take your time and do what feels right.
ReplyDeleteI think for anyone going through this feeling "crazy" is the norm. I completely understand your frustration! As it is so costly and emotionally draining going through IVF....I am in the same boat as you but i'm not there yet to do IVF but doing IUI but it is still very frustrating. There are times I feel like just giving up.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, if you don't do another ivf there is always the "what if" i do get pregnant this time....aww..life isn't easy! Take the next 6 months to feel better and get your health to bounce back from the intensive treatment that you just have gone through. Hopefully, over some time your decision will come clearer to you. Maybe take a mini getaway with your hubby that dosen't cost too much $$$ over a weekend...since you are now in the saving mode....to just get away together and not think about making babies and why it hasn't happend yet. Hey, if anything else you still need to enjoy your life the best that you can. Best of luck and thinking about you through this trying time. Keep your chin up..you never know..life might just surpise you one day with a little bundle of joy or maybe even two!
Take all the time you need....I know the waiting sucks, but I hope a path becomes clear in the midst of it.
ReplyDeletemakingmemom.blogspot.com