I am feeling better. Thank you for all of your love. This IF journey is just hard sometimes. Ok, maybe ALL the time! I had a bloggy friend who got a BFN after her IVF today and my heart broke for her. All the feelings of disappointment and failure flooded back in. If you have a second, go over and support Mrs. A.
I guess part of the reason I am so on edge about this next FET, which still isn't officially scheduled by the way, is that if this doesn't work we are done for a while. We cannot afford another fresh cycle, and it will be a bit before I am ready to go back to that. (After all the happened with my last cycle.) I wonder how likely I would be to have OHSS again... anyone know??
I am just taking life day by day and hoping I can find the energy to cycle again. I know it is only a FET, but getting another BFN would hurt so much. I don't know how some of you ladies do it cycle after cycle. It is too hard. Trying to find that positive person that was here a few weeks ago. I think she is buried real deep. She might be hiding in a corner. I'm sure I'll find her, eventually.
Thank you so much for the shout out (HUG)! Although I hate we know what it's like to have an ivf fail, I'm so thankful that we're able to have "been there" because it is so encouraging to lift each other up! Many prayers that your FET is when your baby snuggles in tight!
ReplyDeleteSometimes "day by day" is the only way to go. Small battles first. It takes a lot of strength to go through what you've been through, and I have a feeling that you'll be able to summon that strength again before the next FET. Take care of yourself in the meantime. Best wishes to you!
ReplyDeleteThe scripture that encourages me on days like this- 'be anxious for NOTHING but by prayer and thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God, and the peace of God that passes all understanding will guard your heart and mind..'
ReplyDeleteWe can only trust God to make things alright.
One day at a time is about all you can do, right? ...Tomorrow has enough worries of its' own--so don't go borrowing from them.
ReplyDeleteI know it's tough to allow ourselves to hope again...I'm right there with you, with my upcoming IVF cycle (first two attempts were fantastic failures). But what's the alternative? Despair? complete and utter hopelessness? --Maybe for a day, when emotions have the best of me--but no longer than that. I'd rather risk my heart to a little bit of hope. Wouldn't you?
Praying that this next FET be successful, and the last one you need to endure. Sending you good wishes and lots of baby dust your way~