FET underway

I am slowly getting back into the swing of things. I returned to work yesterday and have enjoyed not sitting in the house all day. It started to get really depressing. I had my appt with my RE, I guess you could call it a WTF, but I already knew what went wrong. I started bcp on the 17th and Lupron will start up again on Sunday the 28th. Ask me if I am optimistic about this cycle...

Not really...

I know women get pregnant from FET, but all the statistics show that a fresh transfer is so much better. I just feel jipped that we didn't even get to try it. I know we still have plenty of embryos... I know our chances may be better than most... it still doesn't take away the doubt. There was no way in my condition we could've done a fresh transfer, but it still really sucks!

Success stories about FET needed, please.

OHSS will be the death of me!

Seriously, this is not fun. On Sunday and Monday I was in so much pain. I cried for hours. Luckily yesterday and today have been so much better. I went for a "check-up" with the RE yesterday which meant I got an u/s and then the IVF coordinator, glorified medical assistant, came in and told me to keep up my fluids and took my waist measurement. (Which by the way is up 7 inches since retrieval last Thursday) I was like, I thought I was going to see the NP. Nope apparently not. She looked over the u/s and sent me home with more pain and nausea meds. Fabulous.


At least I can eat now. I haven't really eaten in days because my stomach gets full super fast and then it kills. Plus the nausea which made it next to impossible to eat anything. Most of that discomfort has gone away. Now it is just breathing and sleeping that are the main pains. My lady parts are floating in a sea of fluid. Did I mention I look 5 months pregnant? I didn't realize I looked that bad until yesterday in the lab they had me pee in a cup. In the last week I haven't really worn anything other then baggy sweats and sweatshirt. Today to go out in public I was wearing yoga pants and a normal top. I took one look and just started in amazement. Here is a little pic...




Yep, that's all fluid. No wonder I feel so gross. I have also developed several large cysts on each ovary. That, the RN who does the u/s, is why I feel so awful. She said if it was just one or the other it wouldn't be so bad.


So sorry I haven't been around much to comment. I promise to be back in full force soon! Miss and love you ladies!!

Transfer canceled

I am devastated. I have felt pretty awful, so I know it is the best decision, but that doesn't take away the sadness. I talked to my RE this morning, all the embryos that have yet to be frozen still look great and will be frozen today. He said given the number of embryos we have he really thinks we will have a successful FET. He was still somewhat willing to do the transfer, but really felt like it was not a good idea. When I told him I was feeling like we should postpone he said he agreed. He did call me in a pain medication, anti-nausea, and some kind of suppository to help with the symptoms.

I know 17 is a great number but I wanted 2 in me today. This journey has been nothing like what I thought it would be. I never imagined I would get OHSS and that is would reek havoc on my body. I didn't want to complicate things and make them worse by getting pregnant. That wouldn't be good for me or the baby. I know I made the right decision, it is just hard.

Fert report

We have 17 embryos!! The clinic is going to freeze half today as they wont be affected by the freeze thaw process at this stage. I still don't know if we will do the transfer due to the OHSS, which by the way is the worst thing ever! I now look like I am 5 months pregnant due to the fluid in my abdomen. Luckily I haven't been throwing up or put on any weight. (Well I guess that's not entirely true. Yesterday I was down 5 lbs when I got to the hospital and now I am back up to where I was all along.) I was in so much pain last night I told DH I don't want to be pregnant. I just want to feel better. I am so glad the morning brings clarity and peace. I am feeling better today and hope it continues to get better from here on out.

21!

They retrieved 21 mature eggs today. Not as many as I thought given my E2 levels. I am extremely pleased though. I am feeling pretty achy but good overall. I feel like pockets of air and gas are caught in parts of my body like my shoulder and chest. As I get up and move around they seem to get better. My mom and DH were both there which made me feel relaxed about the whole process. I am just grateful it all happened and wasn't canceled because of my E2 levels.

If this post seems a little all over sorry. I am still under the influence. Sorry I haven't commented much lately. OHSS has really kept me in bed most of the time. Hopefully I will be back up and running in the next few days and after transfer.

OHSS

Yep, I have it. I was so giddy when I saw those 25 big follies. Then I started to feel sick a day later. I went in on Monday for my second u/s and they said I was just about ready, most of the follicles were between 14-16. I was not to take any more Gonal and just coast for one day. I went in yesterday and they looked amazing. She counted 21 that were between 15-19. (Most were at 17-19) She told me there were more that were in there that she couldn't measure easily and guessed I had way more than 21 that were ready to go. I wasn't feeling great, but figured the follicles were sucking out all my energy. On Monday the nurse who does the u/s did show me the pockets of fluid that were pooling in my abdomen around my uterus and ovaries. She talked about how I can get dehydrated and feel sick so I need to drink water like a crazy person. It wasn't until Tuesday that I realized it was kind of serious. My IVF nurse came in and started saying things like, no transfer, and hospital stay. I was confused. Then she told me my E2 was really high and they needed me not to go into major OHSS.



E2 Levels:

Baseline - 39
After 7 day stims - 3067
After 9 days stims - 5826
9 days then coast - 6615



She said the absolute highest they like to see the E2 is 4000. Whoops. I guess I passed that a bit. So I triggered last night only with Ovadril and did not use the HCG Novarel. She said the Ovadril can actually help with OHSS while the HCG will only make it more severe.



I am trying not to freak out. I know this is out of my hands and there is nothing I can do. I am set to go in at 8 am tomorrow for my retrieval and hopefully have my transfer on Saturday or Sunday.



There are some good signs that it will not progress into a major problem...

1. I have not gained a single pound
2. I am not vomiting, I am nauseated but can keep everything down
3. My waist is measuring what it did before this cycle



So for now I will be drinking much more than the recommended 1/2 gallon of water. I have also noticed that taking a nap helps. Luckily since my clinic is over an hour away from home, I have not had to go to work. I have been staying with my parents and they are so wonderful and are making every accommodation to help me. The down side is DH has still had to work and hasn't been here with me. He dropped me off Sunday night for my Monday appt and will return tonight for the retrieval tomorrow. I miss him like mad! I don't do well away from him. I also will not be looking around Google for info. I don't need negative thoughts running around in my brain.

It will all be ok. I just need to remain calm and trust in the Lord.

Follicles!

I am feeling a lot better now than I was a few days ago. I still feel a little crazy, but realize it is a small price to pay. My main symptom now is the BLOAT! Wow, I feel like there is a ball in my belly! After today's appointment I know why I feel SOOO bloated.

I went back into the u/s room and the cute hip nurse put Wanda in place. "Wow, look at all those follicles." On my left ovary I had over 15 follicles that were between 10-13 mm. My right ovary was no father behind. She counted over 10 that were right in range. "And you have a whole bunch that are under 10." Well no wonder I feel like I am going to pop! My uterine lining also looks perfect. I did my bw only an hour before my appt, so they didn't have the results in for that just yet. So now I continue on Gonal 150 iu for today and tomorrow and I am back on Monday. DH also gave his sample for our frozen backup. I asked if they would call to tell me how many men they found, they said they would only call if they couldn't find any sperm to freeze. So now news is good news today. The nurse said that the "big labs" don't always number them when there are so few. But the embryologist can take a much better look, so no worries, they will find what they need. I am trying hard not to think about it. Worrying won't improve his sperm.

So I need to keep drinking a half gallon of water and keep with the low salt high protein diet for a few more days. Hoping all these follies are in perfect range on Monday.

This is not fun

I am on day 4 of Gonal at 225 iu and it sucks! Please tell me there are other women out there who have had issues with stims. I can't even really describe how I feel. I feel anxious a lot of the time and just kind of all over the place. I think my body is revolting. I only have one more day at 225 iu and then Thursday and Friday will be at 150 iu. I am over this. It is funny because I had no real issues with bcp or Lupron. A headache here or there, but nothing to complain about. Please tell me I am not slowly going crazy. DH thinks I am just sick with something else and doesn't think it is from the meds. I do think my allergies may be flaring up, which can make me feel loopy. I just need to make it until Saturday and hope my follies are looking amazing. Also, I am feeling some fullness in my lower abdomen already. Is it too early for that? I am not like having to wear different pants or anything like that, I just feel a bit bloated.

This IF stuff is not for the weak.

First real appt

Let's start with the good:

Ovaries and uterus look amazing! My E2 was 38, also great. I will start on 225 Gonal tomorrow. Next appointment is Saturday, also wonderful, DH will be able to come.

The bad:

DH's recent SA was still not good. Very few sperm and not much motility. So we will be doing a frozen sample on the 27th to have as back-up.

The appointment was a total breeze. The nurse who did the u/s was wearing super cute boots and was so nice. She looked like she was about my age or younger. I was kind of surprised that she wasn't wearing scrubs. (like everyone else) They did take a bit to get DH's SA. Apparently they sent his results to some MD in the town we did the sample in (about 90 miles N) and not to our RE. I had never heard of the MD. And they put a "c" on the end of his last name instead of an "e". So no wonder they couldn't find the results. Overall I still fell really zen about everything. I am trying not to stress about the lack of sperm and realize all we need is "a few good men". It will all be ok.

Prepped and ready to stim!!

The Big Box

The rest of my meds finally came today!! It was a BIG box.

I ripped it open to find this...

Well I should say most of this. Some of it did come lat week. It wasn't as much as I thought it would be, still enough to make me go a little crazy but not bad.

Also I did my first Lupron shot last night. (Actually DH gave it to me.) It wasn't bad at all. I could barely feel the needle. The medication did sting a bit. But all in all a very good experience. I sat there afterwards and thought, "ok, I can do this." Not that I was going to chicken out now. I am so excited to get this ball rolling. It has been 5.5 years in the making.

Oh and my grand total for meds, $291.73!! That is with paying full-price for the Lupron. I cannot tell you what a blessing it is to have something covered. Now I will have to write two very big checks in the coming weeks, one to the RE and one to the hospital, but somehow I am not as worried. It is all going to be just fine. I can feel it!

Updates...

I survived the flu! YES!! So far looks like DH will not be catching it. Double yes!

Well bcp have been no big deal. Today will make day 7 on them. On Wednesday I start Lupron. Not super excited about that, but hey it's what we IF ladies do. I received 1/2 my med order from Free.dom Pharmacy and the other 1/2 will come form CV.S. Good news is our meds will be covered by our insurance, CV.S! I really wasn't expecting that, which is why my order was broken into 2 parts. Our insurance would not cover injectable(s) unless they were provided by them. The only issue I had was I didn't know how long it would take for them to get my Rx approved. So I had FF ship the Lupron and non-injectables so we could have that in time for our start up on Wednesday. I didn't want to be even more stressed.

The insurance company called me today to go over the meds. (Yeah like I know what I am supposed to be getting!) I told her just to send it and then I would talk to the nurse at the clinic. The nurse called me before I could get to her. She said as long as I have Lupron and Gonal we will be fine for now. I will make a list of all the other great stuff I have and we can review it at my next appt on the 19th. Sounds good to me. I already feel like I have a ton of stuff and we aren't even half way done.

I had a friend ask me today if I was excited. Truth be told I am! It has been 5 1/2 long years in the making. I am nervous at the same time. Mostly about how my body will do all pumped up on hormones. I don't want to get crazy!!! I guess I need to keep in mind it won't last long and the end result will be worth it.

Home sick

I am home sick with the flu. I feel like death. I have been woken up the past two nights to quickly run to the bathroom and vomit. Sounds lovely I know. I have updates on meds and all kinds of fun stuff, but for now I would really like to just stay in bed. Maybe tomorrow I will feel good enough for a real update. Until then...