It's been 3 years since I last posted. It was at a time when I wasn't sure where our story would go or how I would be able to continue. It took a long time for my heart to heal. Really there are still days I think about the two 2 year olds I should have running around driving me crazy and I get a little sad. Luckily those days are few and far between, as I realize that dwelling and wishing won't make a difference.
The last 3 years have brought heartache and joy. We were contacted by another birth mom in July 2016 about her baby girl. The baby was 3 months old and the mother was 15 at the time. She was considering adoption. The mother was in foster care and wanted a stable home for her child. We met both of them a few times and sadly she did not place.
In 2017 I contacted a local agency and we prepared our home study. We were approved in April 2018. (they are a smaller agency so it took over 6 months!) We were matched within days for being approved with a BM that was due in 2 weeks. I couldn't believe it! It was a risky situation, so our agency told us it might not happen. Sure enough her due date came and went and they didn't hear from her again.
We had a few other situations presented over the next two months and then complete silence from June-October. During this time I was praying a lot about what we should do. I wanted to contact a few other agencies and expand our reach, but that didn't feel right. I felt prompted to call our RE and set up an appt for a FET. This was the LAST thing I wanted to do. After our loss I was scared to death to be pregnant again. It took me months to reconcile these feelings. I finally called and we saw him in September 2018.
I thought the appt would be easy. He would do a saline sono and mock transfer and we would be cycling with my next period. Or so I thought. Turns out I had a fibroid inside my uterine cavity. I had to set an appt for an MRI and meet with a local surgeon. I did both and had surgery to remove the fibroid on November 2nd. It was a minor procedure much like a D&C. My OB said he got everything so I was cleared to cycle.
My RE wanted another repeat saline sono preformed. In that they saw the fibroid. My RE canceled my cycle. I talked to my OB he said the fibroid wasn't inside the cavity and I would have no difficulty conceiving. My RE wanted the rest of the fibroid to be removed but that would require major surgery like a c-section. And this fibroid is tiny, 1.5 cm. I convinced him to do another saline sono and if the cavity was clear, as I knew it would be, to allow me to cycle. He agreed. Sure enough cavity was clear and I cycle with my December cycle.
On Jan 4, 2019 we made the drive to the Bay Area to transfer one of our two remaining embryos. The transfer went smoothly and we went home. The week leading to my beta was full of ups and downs. I was sure it hadn't worked so many times. On Jan 14 I got the call, beta was 208!!! I was pregnant! Beta number 2 came back at 411, so a little less than double but they reassured me everything was fine. We had an ultrasound Jan 25 and saw one tiny heartbeat. It was magical.
My pregnancy has been full of ups and downs. I had a subchoronic hematoma and started to bleed at 7w1d and had another big bleed at 7w3d. I had spotting until I was 11w. It was hard!!! I was so sick the first trimester too. It was a lot to take in. We had our NT scan at 13w1d and no sign of the SCH and baby was perfect! And we found out we were having a GIRL!!!
I am now 25w2d pregnant with this little miracle. I can't believe how blessed we are and that things seem to be moving along smoothly. We look forward to meeting baby girl September 22nd.
