Back to normal??

So my good friend AF has been showing up when she feels like for quite awhile now. The cycle before our first IVF she decided CD 40 was the day to come. She has been all over the place from 31-40 days when not being brought on by stopping bcp. Before all the madness of last year, I would say over the last 5 years she has been coming between 31-35 days. This month... 28 days. WTHeck. So is my body resetting after a year of total insanity?? But really, I don't even remember the last time I had a 28 day cycle. I am grateful that I haven't "damaged" my body permanently with all the junk I put into in 2010. I am hoping this will become a regular occurrence.

On the adoption front, nothing else has happened. I got our paperwork and it has just been sitting on my kitchen counter. We have to put down $1000 at our first meeting, which will be applied to the final cost of the adoption, but that just seems like a big commitment to make right now. I need to call the adoption specialist and ask some general questions before we setup that first meeting. I guess I haven't fully decided this is the path we are going to take just yet. I think it would be different if there was a baby out there, like Sarah's situation, but for now it is just another dream.

So no for sure decisions just yet. We continue to fast and pray and seek guidance only the Lord can provide. It's hard when you don't feel like you are getting an answer. I guess that is why we must have faith.

A call

I made a call today, to the adoption services offered through our church. We have been talking about it a lot lately and would like to have another door open in case I decide I can't handle another IVF now. I dont think that means we will never try again, just not now. I am excited, scared, anxious, happy, all over the place. I still have a little place in my heart that really wants a baby that is half me and half DH... But the fact is even with another IVF that may not happen. And I really feel like 1 more treatment is all I have left in me. (On Good days mabye 2 more cycles)

I am not sure where this road will lead us or even if it will end with a baby, but for today I am hopeful.

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