Putting on the brakes

AF came on Monday. I was happy to see her and really thought I was ready to get this cycle going. But I could't bring myself to dial my RE's number. I thought, give it one more day and then try again. Nope. So we are not going to cycle this month, or maybe ever again with our last 3 embryos. I am really done with my RE and his office. I think it is time for a change. So for now we are saving for IVF #2. Hopefully we can find an new RE that will make our dreams come true.

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Lost again

So it seems my AF has gotten lost yet again. Today is cycle day 40. Man IVF has really screwed up my body. I feel no symptoms which is nice. Well I guess I am a but temperamental. For those wondering, no I haven't tested. I do have one hpt left and I think I may use it is she doesn't come in the next day or two. I really don't see how I could have a natural pregnancy, but God does work in mysterious ways. Still I do not have my hopes up that that is what is going on.

We have decided to do our last FET this cycle, well once AF arrives I can start bcp. We are looking at a transfer date around November 8th. I don't know quite how I feel just yet. It has become somewhat routine. I'm not excited, I feel like let's just get it over with. I want to do it before the end of the year so we don't have to meet our deductible again and to have treatment with this RE's office be finished. It will be easy. Since this is my 3rd transfer I totally know the routine and am going to take the reins. 2 ultrasounds and then our transfer. I thought the 3rd ultrasound they threw in last time was a total waste, so this time I am not doing it. My body has done basically the same thing both times and it is hard for me to go back and forth to their office. Plus after all that happened last time I am so over all of them. The less contact I have to have, the better.

During our little break I started to take some time for me. It has been wonderful. I started taking pi.ano lessons 2 weeks ago and I love it! I have wanted to learn since I was little and just never had the time with all the other things I was involved in. Well what better time then now?!? It has been a real challenge. I am not really musically inclined, but have picked it up rather quickly. I am not Beethoven, but I have come to love developing this talent. It gives me something else to focus on. Which I feel I desperately needed.

One last development, I was asked to use my baking skills for a co-workers child's party. I LOVE baking and am so excited for this opportunity. Nothing big, jut some creative little cookie treats that look like witch's brooms. I made them about 3 years ago for a work thing and she remembered and asked me to make them again. So it will be the first time I have been paid to bake. I am pretty excited.