Thursday, December 10, 2015

Canceled

I went in for my last monitoring appt today at a local US office. SInce a tech was performing the US and not a MD I didn't get to see the screen. She let me see what my ovaries looked like on the screen after she was done, not super helpful. I have been feeling like maybe we should pull the plug on this cycle since Monday and learning I only had 4-7 good follicles. So I've been praying and thinking about it. Today when my RE's office called to tell me my retrieval would be Saturday I told her I need to speak to the RE. He called me back and said I had 3 follicles about 20  and 3 around 17. So maybe 6 eggs total. That wasn't enough for me. I'm 33, I shouldn't have responded so poorly. He said that about 1/2 of my eggs should be normal too, last visit, so then we are looking at 1-3 eggs. UGH! I told him I couldn't continue with the way things were going. He understood. But wants to try again in a few months. I want to find another clinic.

 I feel like the lady who just keeps jumping ship. First with the adoption and now this. But both times I have felt peace about our decision. So that's what I need to go with. This time I just couldn't spend the $6k we were going to drop on anesthesia and the lab fees for 6 possible eggs. Last time we had 21 and 0 babies. I just need more to feel like it will work.

So here we are again. Back to square one... But with each failure we learn. So not all is lost.

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